Kid: (singing softly to himself) Rock me…momma…wagonwheel….rockme…anywayyafeel….hey…momma rock me
ME: (plugs phone into radio jack, flips through songs, finds Wagon Wheel)
SONG FILLS TRUCK
ME: (looks back at son, smiles, wants to see his delighted expression when he hears….
KID: NOOOOOOOOOOTURNTHISOFFFNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO (in the squealing cry of a man repeatedly stabbing his roommate in dead of night and sorry but not sorry for what he’s doing)
KID: Daddy… play wagon wheel.
For the second time in four years, my full-time job is a stay-at-home dad. In both instances, circumstance landed me in the unpaid position. “Circumstance” is a nicer way of saying “laid off.”
Click here to read the rest of my piece at Men’s Health magazine.
This is the conclusion of the way too drawn out tale of how I met the Permanent Roommate. If you’re new to the website, I suggest going back a few posts before reading this entry.
Now on to the show.
She picked out the engagement ring. I’m not an idiot.
[PHONE RINGS WHILE BABY IS SLEEPING]
Me: (whisper) “Hello.”
Person on phone: “It’s ______. Why are you whispering?”
Me: (whisper) “The baby is sleeping.”
Person on phone: “Oh….(person continues conversation in a barely audible whisper, as if the child has sonic hearing.)