This feature was originally an assignment for a major publication. At the eleventh hour, they pulled the plug on the piece. They were nice enough to still pay the entire freelance fee. I’m explaining all this because the piece doesn’t really fit the usual voice of this blog, but I thought people might enjoy it. So…enjoy it.
4 Parenting Skills I'm Better At Than I Thought I'd Be
I thought this would be the hardest habit to break. I’m the son of a bartender, a man who uses curse words to increase the impact and ferocity of another curse word. Not quite an adjective, nor descriptor, it’s just an extra curse drizzled on top.
6 Practical Uses For the Cardboard Dad's Been Cursing About Since Xmas
Cardboard boxes stick around longer after Christmas than out-of-town relatives. The photo above is the pile congregating alongside my house. The cardboard box gang (they’ve already named the group) will get to know each other incredibly well — recycling won’t be collected on my street for another two weeks.
This contraption is real. See. It’s for your spoiled shit kid’s iPad.
"Because here at Fisher-Price, we know parents want to get newborns addicted to technology as soon as possible and SO DO WE. That’s why we developed the new Apptivity seat. The Apptivity is perfect for parents who’ll spare no expense to literally have zero interaction with their kid."
And thanks a lot Fisher-Price. Maybe I wouldn’t have looked like such an asshole for duct taping the iPad to my kid’s hands if you released this product a little sooner.