March 2012
11 posts
3 tags
Parental Controls
4 tags
Pictures
As a kid, I’d always take family pictures out of the frames and replace them with the original photos that came with the frame. [[MORE]]My family always left the old photos behind pictures of family weddings, birthdays and random moments that prove we grew up Catholic. I’m not sure if they planned on returning the frames one day or they just felt bad throwing out photos of such...
Always Bring a List
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Him: “How are we on lube?”
Her: “I don’t know, I figured you’d check first.”
Him: “Me? You’re the one that always takes inventory! How am I supposed to know?”
Her: “Well you’re the one that always uses it!”
Him: “Oh sure, blame me because you’re dryer than a basement in the Mojave…[to...
And then he was 2
4 tags
Let's talk about these Happy Meal toys...
The kid got a Happy Meal. [[MORE]]Yes, we are awful parents who give their child fast food even though we said before he was born “and no fast food because it starts unhealthy habits, and it’s processed” and all the shit we hear on the news about raising the perfect child until we realize in the middle of the job it’s impossible and sometimes shoving a burger and French...
I Do The Same Thing...When I think I'm about to...
3 tags
Property of Nike
Nike is less than thrilled with me right now.
[[MORE]]
About five years ago, I bought a shirt that read ‘Property of Nike’ and I’ve done nothing over the last three years to make the brand very proud.
I didn’t realize this agreement such a lengthy contract. Plus, I think I’m not quite wrapping my head around the whole ‘Just Do It’ motto. Like someone says to me “would you like a third piece...
Balloon Bullsh*t
Planning for a birthday party. Ass balloons will have to do.
4 tags
Life As We Know It
I’m pissed. Seriously. Pissed.
Here is a short version to get everyone up to speed — the kid is a few months from moving into the big boy room. He’s got this music machine he plays to calm down at night. He loves it. Problem is that it straps to the crib and doesn’t work in the new room. [[MORE]] Permanent Roommate is now in shopping mode for a music/white noise machine...
