If men always think with their penis we should rename condoms “thinking caps”
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) April 26, 2013
Every so often I’ll take advantage of the free writing courses at the library. At the start of a nonfiction writing class, participants were given a free-write assignment. We had eight minutes to scribble whatever came to mind but the first line of the piece had to begin with the phrase “My father/mother never…”
This is what spilled out of my brain in eight minutes. Enjoy.
The Shania Twain song randomly popped into my head. It might have been in a commercial on TV. It might live deep in the recesses of my mind. It might have been in my dream. It left my head and came out of my mouth. This is what happened next…
I’m going to start taking progress photos of my gut like a pregnant woman
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) April 24, 2013
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