I’ve just got to mention a quick stroke of — possibly criminal — genius. 

The other night the kid was fidgety at dinner so I went to “old reliable” (the iPhone) for a quick video fix before dinner arrived. 


Fresh Beat Band. 


Boom. It’s on. He’s dancing at the table. Possible crisis avoid. 

Anyway, I look at the details of the video and basically someone uploaded a video of the Fresh Beats that they taped off television. They’ve sold ads before the video, ads around it, and have linked out to purchase the songs, videos and Twist’s first underground CD with Frank Ocean. I’m kidding. It doesn’t exist, but this does

1.6 million views later (probably all the parents waiting around me in this Cheeburger Cheeburger. IT’S A FUCKING MILKSHAKE! You’re not carefully mixing a molotov cocktail! I’ve made a molotov cocktail. It had a little too much peanut butter. Am I thinking of another drink? Wait, it’s not a drink? It’s a weapon? Well no wonder everyone scattered at the pot luck) and this guy is making serious dough off a property he doesn’t even own.

That shit is bananas. Nah nah nah nah nah…bananas.

Hand me that molotov. 

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