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Posts tagged parenting
Every so often I’ll take advantage of the free writing courses at the library. At the start of a nonfiction writing class, participants were given a free-write assignment. We had eight minutes to scribble whatever came to mind but the first line of the piece had to begin with the phrase “My father/mother never…”
This is what spilled out of my brain in eight minutes. Enjoy.
Much like every other loser male with little-to-zero verbal communication skills, I occasionally respond to actual questions with movie quotes instead of meaningful dialogue. The word occasionally means “all the time” right?
Small talk — the bane of my everyday. Not the Batman villain, though that would be cool, a super villain that crippled Gotham with talk of the weather. In that case he’d be a Weather Bane and I’m way off topic. Let’s right this ship.
Every other commercial during The Price is Right peddled some type of exotic coffee. The coffee that’s so delicious it transports your entire mind, body and soul to an exotic locale known for, I’d assume, fucking good coffee. Magical destinations like Paris, Belize and Teaneck, NJ (which is magical if the wind is blowing the right direction). This was back in the 80’s when Starbucks didn’t line every avenue like street lamps and Dunkin Donuts propaganda centered around a sleep deprived middle-aged schlub dreading a life filled with making greasy sugared doughballs at the crack of dawn.