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Small talk — the bane of my everyday. Not the Batman villain, though that would be cool, a super villain that crippled Gotham with talk of the weather. In that case he’d be a Weather Bane and I’m way off topic. Let’s right this ship.

Every other commercial during The Price is Right peddled some type of exotic coffee. The coffee that’s so delicious it transports your entire mind, body and soul to an exotic locale known for, I’d assume, fucking good coffee. Magical destinations like Paris, Belize and Teaneck, NJ (which is magical if the wind is blowing the right direction). This was back in the 80’s when Starbucks didn’t line every avenue like street lamps and Dunkin Donuts propaganda centered around a sleep deprived middle-aged schlub dreading a life filled with making greasy sugared doughballs at the crack of dawn.

